This mother is the model of graceful, planful aging, I want to memorize the whole story so it becomes my script down the road. Here are the author’s bullet points, she pretty much drops the mic with all these:

“Here are some of the things my mother did to ease the end-of-life journey for herself and her family:

She outlined all her wishes around end of life in official documents or in writing, including DNRs, a will and instructions about what she wanted for her memorial service. She left no guesswork.

She divided possessions like jewelry and furniture among us while she was alive, so that we could talk about what we wanted and she could enjoy her things in our homes.

She was definitive both in conversation and in writing about what constituted her definition of quality of life.

She had long-term care insurance in place and never missed a payment.

My parents chose their senior living facility while they were healthy and of sound mind. Not all parents are ready to leave their home at an earlier age, but we had discussions about what kinds of places were acceptable from a facility and geography standpoint.

And here’s what I learned about going through death with family members:

Give others in the family grace if they handle things differently than you do. Don’t judge family members who aren’t capable of being around at the end.

Set your own boundaries, and don’t feel guilty when you stick to them.

If you are the executor of the will or the one closest to the parent, you can still delegate tasks, even though someone must take the lead.

Make sure to review trusted information sources like AARP’s End of Life page when it comes to practical matters you will need to know after a death.”