Culling from my own experiences and those others have shared, I have come up with a list of 20 ways I might make my sunset stroll more pleasant for myself and my loved ones and I’m going to share a spoiler about what I believe are the top two most important factors:communication and trust.

With honest conversation about the who’s, where’s and how muches of my future caregiving, the expectations of my loved ones and my personal hopes and dreams for this chapter of my life, no one is going to feel sideswiped or feel too unprepared. And I think ideally this conversation begins in midlife, when it’s hardly a tomorrow thing — and continues in everyday chatter moving forward and is updated at a macro level at least every five years because circumstances change and our planning should align with that.

Trust is the easy, no thinking part. You raised or surrounded yourself with a few good, loving people during your life who want only the best for you. So when that grown-up twirp you adore makes a suggestion about your planning or caregiving or physical and emotional needs, trust that kid. Trust the opinion of that best friend who may see something you don’t want to acknowledge. Communication and trust are the keys we set down in the house somewhere and can’t for the life of us find. #GrandPlans