At the risk of sounding petty, I think well-penned wills are a wonderful way to ensure a best case legacy for your kids and their kids and their kids beyond. But to achieve that, you must shimmy down into your deepest, darkest rabbit holes — and that’s not always fun or pretty.

Rabbit hole conversations force couples to talk about not-so-implausible scenarios that may play out in the future should one (or both!) spouses pass to their eternal reward unexpectedly or otherwise. It requires you to consider the nitty gritty, the possibles and the “if you do that I will haunt you” outcomes lurking in the trenches — and how you want to mitigate that. It makes you consider what you want to happen to those assets — your home, the family dog, that 401K, your Hummel figurine collection, the inheritance your grandfather worked his a** off to squirrel away for you — when your crusty old living spouse decides to do something like, marry some young hottie with six kids from her fourth marriage. You have to put yourself in the moment and think thoughts like, “I want those assets to go to my own damn kids, not that floozy’s!”

My husband and I enjoyed some zesty rabbit hole conversations last year when we were updating our wills. I had not done so since we were married, and there was ample updating to accomplish — at the time I think my brother was still the beneficiary of my assets, so it’s a pretty darn good thing I didn’t die an early death lol, though that might have worked out well for Clay! Exaggerating aside, we wanted to make sure our wills would be fair, ethical and effective for all future scenarios. We wanted to protect 1) ourselves as surviving spouses should one of us kick the bucket before the other and 2) our adult children and their families and their families down the line. While it’s kind of funny to imagine some of these scenarios actually happening, it’s also kind of nauseating. I literally can never imagine caring enough about my appearance or prowess to be some cougar bride who gives away David’s hunting guns to the boy toy’s 10-year-old niece, but I suppose anything’s possible (??) That’s about as possible as David joining a cult and giving my grandmother’s Hummel creche to the church or making our home the parsonage. All Things Possible, as they say at The Bolles!

It’s scary! I look at our sweet, charming 20-somethings and shudder over the thought of some spouse in sheep’s clothing taking them to the cleaners in some nasty divorce! What if they make off with that Joseph and the broken legged donkey from my prized Hummel creche? Shiver me timbers. What then?

All that to say, you can’t protect your legacy and family well being without a jump into the rabbit hole — and a visit to a well recommended lawyer. We worked with Kent Sausaman at Frazier & Frazier in Jacksonville FL and he was expert level at taking our worst nightmares and boxing them up behind some protective legal wordsmithing. It felt really good to flog it all out on there and see it all typed up and squared away.

It’s nice to fill in and fence up the rabbit hole in our backyard. For now at least. #GrandPlans