I read an article the other day about the history of the New Year’s Eve cheers-jingle, “Auld Lang Syne” and now I’m equal parts concerned and informed. For centuries, humans have been drunk-humming this folk song — in the wee hours of January 1 each year and often during funerals — raising a glass to the past, to the glory days, to old friends and times gone by. I say that kind of toast-thinking can get us in trouble as we age. Instead, I propose a chipper glass clink and “Salud!” this New Year to the bright future we’re all approaching and to more juicy real-talk conversation about the best path to get there.

We can be nostalgic about our memories and relationships, our collections and our experiences. Don’t get me wrong. The past is a beautiful place, full of people we’ve loved and places we’ve been. I love looking at old photos of my family and reflecting on our traditions and adventures. Yes, I still harbor some of my grandmother’s dusty, broken Hummel figurines and a little porcelain Bible that says “God is Love” on it, because they represent a precious other time. I only recently threw out my first baby doll, a cheap artifact with no eyes or clothes that had gotten Chuckie-creepy. It was time. The danger, I think, is in lingering there — not knowing, it’s time. Time to look away.

As humans, we love to linger in the past. A recent story in Hack Spirit called “7 Things People Usually Dwell on When They’re Living in the Past,” says folks like us are usually reflecting backward on the following seven topics: 1) grudges 2) regrets 3) what-ifs 4) the good ole days of high school fun 5) the glamour of youth 6) old loves and friends and 7) beliefs about ourselves. I LOVE reflecting on all these things! It’s a sick, wonderful fascination. Obsessing about grudges, regrets and what-ifs is like watching a bespoke reality television series about my life — one that includes manufactured drama and ridiculous renderings of what, actually, went down (which was usually far less appealing or obsession-worthy).

We are backward-seeking about the way our parents did life, or what kind of expectations they established. We think about the careers and interests of those we respected, and our own. We drool over the dreams we made for ourselves early on, and whether we have measured up to them. While Bravo-worthy, this kind of thinking is not good practice. Besides being depressing, it limits our capacity to prepare well for the future

For example, my sweet dad would rather talk about the spouses and illegitimate children of tenth cousins, ten times removed and zesty Ancestry.com findings than entertain conversation about where he might live should he become dependent on others. He could tell you stories of childhood visits to Holly Springs, MS with more exacting presence than he would when he was called upon to answer questions like, “where will you be for Christmas this year?” or “what’s the plan for this big house?”

Stuff — fancy items, expensive home goods and collections that meant something long ago — also is where many aging humans invest their obsessions. Forget “may old acquaintance be forgot,” can we at least change the lyrics to something helpful like, “may old collections of once socially acceptable baloney” be forgotten, and maybe donated? Looking backward for many people includes trying to drag hoards of personal prizes around, ridiculous things that for too many decades defined whether a person was in the cool crowd, or not — the Lladro figurines, the tuxedo Lenox china, the crystal champagne flutes, the grandfather clocks, linens that require ironing and silver platters. Heavy dark brown furniture. (Insert green barf face emoji) This stuff may have held sway back in times of yore when people needed expensive junk to designate themselves as special, but let’s be real. It has no place in our, or anybody else’s, future today. It’s an albatross.

On this 2024 New Year’s month, let’s account for all that nonsense and try to shift our gaze more toward the horizon — where there is joy and opportunity and newness. Maybe we can all promise to at least being more open to, and comfortable with, having honest conversations with our families, friends and each other about what’s ahead, and how we can plan well for it all.

Our Golden Years can be vibrant and on point if we just turn around, face forward and embrace it.