The pomp and circumstance of graduation has been on my mind lately, like it has been for a lot of folks this time of the year, I imagine. Our daughter, Marley, graduates from Sewanee: The University of the South on Mother’s Day weekend and we have nieces, godchildren and framily a-plenty who will be receiving their high school and college diplomas in the coming weeks. It’s such a celebratory time, isn’t it? Graduations mark the end of an era and the beginning something far better. They solidify our inner circle relationships and tighten communities. They designate us for new purpose. And of course, graduations are fun and boozy! Graduations are always gateways to new stages, whether we are champagne-soaked enough to to sashay through them or not.

Grandmother, my dad’s mom, died on the day of my graduation from Hollins College in May 1994. My sweet dad was on-campus to woo-hoo my friends and me when our names were called. Praise the Lord, life seemed to be heading a better direction following my mother’s passing the year before. Finally, a new chapter to celebrate! Yet there he was, back in the grief seat. After the crowd thinned, Dad left Roanoke to take care of business at home again and suggested I not dilly-dally on my trip home either. There were funerals to attend after this graduation. I know how I felt in that moment — total back-patter followed by total bummer. But I often wondered how my dad experienced this “graduation.” He’d just fumbled through the loss of a spouse and now he was going through yet another threshold, one that ushered him into an unfamiliar era of parentless-ness and newly crowned-family patriarchy. He’d hit life’s front line, at age 54.

My brother and I hit the same graduation milestone three years ago when Dad passed away unexpectedly. Now I know his feelings quite well, for better or worse. On one hand, it’s a whole new world of opportunity and adventure, with exciting new chapters ahead! On the other hand, it feels scary and uncharted and a lot like being torturously homesick at a janky summer camp in the middle of Missouri.

These are the realities of getting older, grand-planning and honestly, of graduating into any new phase of life — emphasis on life!

Graduations mark the end of an era and the beginning something far better. They solidify our inner circle relationships and tighten communities. They designate us for new purpose. Graduations are always gateways to new stages, whether we are champagne-soaked enough to to sashay through them or not.