Socializing and community-building are some of the most fundamental components to healthy aging and we should all be doing more of it as we move through life’s second half. But on behalf of all the introverted souls out there, I humbly ask we do so with a little cognizance of two small but ruinous convo-crushers that can break connections instead of building them: the interjection, “well” and the pronoun, “I.” Together, they are the prelude to what is commonly known as “one-upping” or “April-flowering”* or “mic-hogging.” Chances are, you have been victimized by this conversation approach, and chances are even greater you’ve been that person a few times or 10 (like me!), especially when the chard is flowing you feel super interesting and rich with rizz.

Surely, you’ve performed this script before during a recent gathering:

Party guest/friend: (Bares soul. Shares tale about some recent occurrence or deep thought. Concludes with sigh or exclamation.)

You/Me/The Blabber Mouth: “Well, I…had the same recent occurrence a few years ago and it was 10 billion times worse, and 100 billion times more impactful and let me go on and on and on about it for the remainder of the gathering.”

Cringe. We do this sort of the thing ALL THE TIME, ya’ll. Let’s just stop it already. Our second-half health and wellness are at stake! Instead of building relationships, we are singlehandedly wrecking them this sort of Me!Me!Me! communication style. And no joke, if we want to live longer, healthier and more meaningfully as we age, we simply must sharpen our others-focused attitude and socializing skills. Here’s why:

Emerging research shows it may actually be essential to how well we age. A recent peer-reviewed study published in Brain, Behavior, and Immunity provides compelling evidence that social connection is not just emotionally supportive, but biologically protective. Researchers found that older adults with strong, sustained social ties — through friendships, family relationships, community involvement, or faith-based connections — showed signs of slower biological aging compared to their less-connected peers. In other words, meaningful social engagement may help the body age more slowly at a cellular level.

This research reinforces what many older adults intuitively know: staying connected helps us feel better. But it goes further, demonstrating that socializing is linked to lower inflammation, reduced stress, better physical health and longer life. As we consider what it means to age well, social connection is not optional—it’s foundational.

Research published in Psychology Today notes that people who continually steer conversations toward themselves may initially receive support but ultimately push people away. Partners and friends report feeling depleted and neglected and may eventually avoid interacting with the self-focused person, harming the quality and longevity of relationships.

So what do we do to avoid being “that person” in our second half? Simple: ask more questions. Put your listening ears on for crying out loud. Get RASA! RASA?

Sound and communication expert, author and professional speaker Julian Treasure’s RASA model is a simple framework for practicing active listening that strengthens trust and connection in relationships. RASA stands for Receive, Appreciate, Summarize, and Ask. Receive means giving someone your full attention—listening without interrupting or planning your response. Appreciate involves acknowledging what the other person has shared through verbal or nonverbal cues, signaling that they feel heard and valued. Summarize requires briefly reflecting back what you’ve understood, which helps ensure clarity and reduces miscommunication. Finally, Ask encourages thoughtful follow-up questions that invite the speaker to go deeper. Together, these four steps shift conversations away from self-focus and toward genuine understanding, making RASA a practical tool for building more meaningful, respectful, and resilient relationships at any stage of life.

The evidence proves Treasure’s RASA gets results. A 2017 Harvard Business School piece showed question-asking increases interpersonal liking because it reflects responsiveness — showing understanding, validation and care instead of me, me and me. In multiple live conversation studies, individuals who asked more questions were consistently liked more by their partners than those who asked fewer questions, suggesting that listening and eliciting the other person’s perspective is fundamental to forming rapport. And as the first Harvard study showed, rapport is the key to healthy socialization, which is key to successful aging!

So, as we approach more opportunities to building relationships during the holidays, 2026 and life beyond, let’s do ourselves a favor and follow-up more conversations with questions instead of being the most interesting person in the room. Let’s nix the Well Is! Well I do declare we will be more enriched, better supported adults if we do.

This is “April-flowering” by the way…listen out for the “Well, Is”: