I hate talking about money. It’s awkward and it makes me nervous. Sometimes it makes me sweat, or feel ashamed or worried or confused, and almost every time it is a conversation I wish I hadn’t stepped into. But this fear is holding me — and anyone else who shares this stupid discomfort — back from thriving during life’s second-half. This non-math-doing, numbers-averse gero-freak is here to tell you we MUST get comfortable talking about money with our adult children, loved ones and future caregivers or we will all pay dearly for it. Bottom line: get over your money hang ups and get real with your people about what’s in your wallet.

I know, I know. It is rude, crude and socially unacceptable to talk money openly with folks. At least that’s the precedent generations before us established and what most of us consider polite or “normal” today. But ya’ll, it’s not polite or normal to hide helpful (life-giving!) information from the people who will one day help us. Providing clarity around our financial picture and plans is one of the most loving acts we can do for our loved ones. Let’s get into why:

Most adult children are flying blind. According to research cited by AARP and multiple national surveys, nearly half of adult children have never had a real conversation with their parents about money and many don’t know basic things like debt levels or where accounts are, making future decision-making far more stressful than it needs to be.

Uncertainty turns into stress for everyone involved. As NerdWallet research has shown, more than half of Americans either already help their aging parents financially or expect to, yet fewer than one-third have done any formal planning, which means loved ones are often left guessing when it’s go time and crises abound.

Caregiving without financial clarity is costly. According to AARP’s Caregiving in the U.S. report, about 50 percent of family caregivers experience negative financial impacts, including taking on debt, something many say could have been circumvented with clearer conversations and planning ahead of time.

Multigenerational financial support is now the norm, not the exception. Research summarized by AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving shows that roughly one in four Americans financially support an aging parent, often while managing their own households. Transparency around money really not an option anymore.

Silence creates emotional fallout long after the numbers are sorted. With more than 63 million family caregivers in the U.S., AARP research consistently finds that lack of clarity around finances and plans increases anxiety, conflict, and guilt—while early, honest conversations significantly reduce stress when roles shift.

Now this goes without saying, there are some family members, loved ones and caregivers that don’t deserve our trust or transparency. Usually those people have showed us time and time again that they aren’t to be trusted — so the second half is not the time for a do-over with such folks. Keep them at arm’s length and out of your business, and keep people who have proven to be honest, upright, loving and with your best interest at the forefront close.

I experienced scenarios with loved ones who were reluctant to share financial information — one kept telling me not to worry, and that “everything would be just fine.” Another told me zilch and left me to scramble and figure things out on the fly. In both cases, that silence caused panic, worry and hair-shedding stress. One fortunately was “just fine” in the end, the other was not. Lesson learned? Please don’t be like me and get nervous pit sweat over financial conversations. Get comfortable with money talk now and save your loved ones from unnecessary fret later. It’s invaluable and a smart investment in their future sanity, facts.