No, you’re not doing it right.

There’s one thing I want to clear up real quick regarding the “right way” to Grand Plan: it’s that there’ isn’t one.

Try as you might, you will never win, medal in, dominate or ace mindful aging strategies. There is no gold star for you. No high marks to notch. No perfect performance. You are in fact NOT doing better than that person over there. In Grand Planning, everyone who takes a few thoughtful steps toward geridrama mitigation gets a trophy because truth is, any step is better than no step and — facts — everyone’s second-half experiences are uniquely complicated by humdingers even the fiercest and most prepared Grand Planners never see coming. Life throws curveballs. The best we can do is to accept that reality, get legally and financially ready for it, design advance directives that address it and talk about our contingency planning efforts with the family and friends who have agreed to help us. The worst we can do is get competitive about it.

Today’s musing is not your signal to cram Grand Plans 2.0: How to Mitigate Geridrama in 20 Easy Steps into your neighbor’s Little Free Library box. To the contrary, I encourage you to make plans that are smart for your very special, unparalleled and equally unknown future and have grace for yourself and others.

It’s all too relative to handle otherwise. Is it better to make a plan to spend down or protect your financial resources and lean on Medicaid for long term care, or to plan on spending the entirety of your retirement savings on long term and health care needs as you age, depleting any inheritance for your children or grandchildren and perhaps increasing the likelihood they may need to support you? Is it smarter to put your assets in an irrevocable trust or just have a valid will? Is the winning move to buy long term care insurance at age 50, or to self-pay as you age? What’s your ace in the hole, a continuing care community living arrangement or making plans to live with your most stable and agreeable adult child? Everyone’s situation is so different, it’s impossible to “win” at this Grand Planning game.

Again, the best we can do is to expect the unexpected and get as prepared as possible legally, financially, medically and emotionally. If we are lucky, we are all getting older every day — we are all running the same race. So, gear up in your own special way and keep your eye on the prize — aging wisely and graciously.