Our Papa, my husband’s father Quinn R. Barton Jr., member of the Bolles Class of 1946, Princeton grad, expert reciter of Shakespeare and namer of family vehicles, passed away this Father’s Day, June 21 at the age of 98. As an homage to this deeply thoughtful gentleman of all gentlemen and a shout out to the increasing number of Super Agers and Centenarians like him out there, I’d like to share a few words about how, from a gerontological standpoint, Papa is a “mighty” fine example of successful aging and articulate a few reasons why, and what we can learn from him.

Like most of us, Papa did not plan for aging with any enthusiasm or precision — or even any acceptance that it was actually something that might happen to him. Aging and death were non-existent in his life perspective. He was forever young! A sharp dressed lad and toast of the town! An intellect, a creative…A catch! His glasses were definitely rosy and his big, unstoppable heart pumped optimism, benevolence…romanticism, even… from his head to his toes, day in and day out, no matter the life occasion. He may not have been aging or “old, like those old people over there,” but he was seeing the very best in everyone and everything — which, ironically, was a strength of being old and aging well.

As I’ve thought about Papa these past few days, I’ve been struck by how many of the qualities that came to him naturally are the very qualities gerontologists now point to as supporting healthier, happier aging. In addition to being relentlessly positive, he was deeply rooted in his Catholic faith, was surrounded by family, committed to his community, happily and daily engaged in routine, generous with his time, an early-to-bed kind of good sleeper and a good study of word games, movies and classic works. No one trait explains a life that stretched nearly a century, but together they offer a wonderful reminder that growing older well is shaped not only by our genes, but also by the way we choose to live. Let’s look at what the research says about each of these strengths—and how they put Papa squarely in the “successful aging” category by scientific standards.

Positivity

So, let’s start with the rose-colored glasses Papa wore. Having a positive disposition, or being optimistic, has become an increasingly interesting area of gerontological research. In a landmark study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, researchers from Boston University, Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and the National Institute on Aging found that people with the highest levels of optimism lived 11 to 15 percent longer, on average, than those with the lowest levels of optimism and were significantly more likely to reach age 85 and beyond. Researchers believe optimistic people recover from stress more effectively, nurture stronger relationships and remain engaged with life even during difficult seasons. Pretty cool!

National Institute on Aging (NIH): Optimism linked to longevity and well-being in two recent studies

https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/optimism-linked-longevity-and-well-being-two-recent-studies

Faith

Catholicism and a strong faith in God was a major win for Papa’s aging.

His faith shaped how he treated people, how he approached hardship and how he understood gratitude. It gave rhythm to ordinary days and comfort during the days when his optimism tank needed refueling.

Researchers have long observed that older adults who remain engaged in faith communities often report greater resilience, stronger social support and higher levels of emotional well-being. Part of that benefit comes from belonging to a caring community, and part comes from having a deep sense of meaning and hope, qualities that become increasingly valuable as we age. Faith was Papa’s ace!

NIH / National Library of Medicine: Religion, Spirituality and Health in Older Adults

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3671693

Family

Papa rarely wondered whether he was loved. From his earliest memories he was a beloved son and dedicated brother who lived nearby — even with — his parents and grandmother and for much of his youth and young adult life. After he married, he raised a family in that same neighborhood who later had children they raised in the same neighborhood.

His family literally always surrounded him. Children and grandchildren were all within a 15-minute drive, most of them. His sister and brothers for many years lived nearby, a luxury that afforded him contact with a throng of nieces and nephews and friends. His primary caregiver, his daughter, Margaret, lived across the street for a good chunk of his life. He was never more than 20 minutes from the neighborhood in which he was raised.

That turns out to matter more than researchers once imagined. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies of human life ever conducted, has spent more than eight decades following participants. Its central conclusion was a pretty simple one: close relationships are one of the strongest predictors of health, happiness and longevity.

Harvard Study of Adult Development (Official Site)

https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.orghttps://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/

Harvard Gazette – Good genes are nice, but joy is better

Over nearly 80 years, Harvard study has been showing how to live a healthy and happy life — Harvard Gazette

Community and Routine

Papa’s world wasn’t especially large. It didn’t need to be.

He lived in the community he loved, worshipped with familiar faces, knew his neighbors and found comfort in the predictable rhythms of daily life. There was beauty and strength in familiar streets, familiar pews and familiar conversations.

Gerontologists describe this as aging in place, and decades of research have shown that remaining connected to familiar environments helps older adults maintain independence, preserve identity and experience greater well-being. Routine itself also reduces unnecessary stress by providing stability and predictability during a stage of life when many other things are changing.

Papa found joy in ordinary days and the sameness of places. Whether it was the decades he spent working at The Bolles School or the years living in the exact same house with the exact same furnishings and exact same placement, Papa’s life taught us routine and community can most definitely promote healthy aging.

AARP Livable Communities

https://www.aarp.org/livable-communities

Purpose and Generosity

Papa remained generous with his time, treasure and talent his entire life. This was a winning move for him!

He gave his time to The Bolles School, where he was a Trustee Emeritus and also a longtime advancement and admissions employee. He encouraged others. He remembered birthdays with perfectly penned cards full of age-corresponding dollar bills, celebrated accomplishments and humbly, always humbly, found ways to make people feel seen.

Researchers at Rush University Medical Center have found that older adults with a strong sense of purpose experience slower cognitive decline and lower risks of disability. Purpose doesn’t have to involve running a company or starting a nonprofit or making a multimillion dollar gift. Often it grows out of just knowing your presence or attention makes someone else’s day a little brighter. Papa’s ability to show up for others made him age stronger, and better as an almost-centenarian.

Purpose in Life May Protect the Brain

https://www.rush.edu/news/having-purpose-life-may-protect-brain

Intergenerational relationships

Speaking of Bolles, Papa worked for decades alongside people spanning nearly every stage of life. On any given day, he might chat with a 5-year-old Kindergartner, a recent college graduate, a fellow employee who had been there since the school’s earliest days or someone in between. He often remarked that being around young people made him feel younger himself.

As it turns out, he was onto something — once again. A growing body of gerontological research has found that meaningful relationships across generations benefit everyone involved. A 2023 systematic review published in Age and Ageing in the UK concluded that intergenerational programs improve older adults’ mental well-being, reduce loneliness and increase social connectedness. Researchers also have found that regular interaction with younger people fosters a stronger sense of purpose, keeps older adults mentally and socially engaged and even helps combat ageism by reminding both generations how much they have to learn from one another.

Intergenerational relationships and aging

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10546258/

Good Sleep

Papa was wonderfully old-fashioned about sleep. He had supper early and was in bed by 7 p.m. most nights. He woke up before the sun came up and was heading to work by 7:30 a.m. if not earlier most days. Good sleep was a priority and he believed strongly — systematically — in going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting up ready for another day.

Modern sleep science has caught up with that wisdom. Researchers now understand that sleep plays an essential role in memory, immune function, cardiovascular health and the brain’s nightly housekeeping processes. Consistently good sleep has become one of the most important lifestyle habits associated with healthy aging.

Papa did not know it as good sleep hygiene, to him it was more like common sense — and that good ole routine that kept him chugging so unfailingly through his 70s, 80s and 90s.

National Institute on Aging: A Good Night’s Sleep

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/sleep

Good eats, no drinks, some exercise

Following major heart surgery decades ago, Papa cut alcohol out of his routine cold turkey and never looked back. He also was very careful about what he ate. At Bolles, where we worked together on the advancement team, he would fill a small plate with iceburg lettuce, maybe a tomato and some chicken or turkey slices. Dinner always included a pickled peach. He ate slowly, was an champion-level plate-cleaner and enjoyed Reeces Peanut Butter Cups and Peppermint Patties, and Whitman’s Sampler boxes were usually his Father’s Day, Christmas and Birthday gifts, something he was always grateful to receive.

Papa’s appreciation for low fat, high protein, fresh and often pickled foods was another notch for him in the aging W column. This approach aligns remarkably well with today’s gerontological research. Studies consistently show that older adults who follow a Mediterranean-style eating pattern—rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, beans, nuts, fish and healthy fats like olive oil—are more likely to live longer and experience lower rates of heart disease, stroke, diabetes, cognitive decline and frailty. Large studies have also found that this way of eating is associated with a greater likelihood of what researchers call healthy aging: reaching older age with both body and mind functioning well. And yes, chocolate can be good for you, too.

Researchers have also become more cautious about alcohol than they once were. While earlier studies suggested that small amounts of wine might be beneficial, more recent evidence indicates that drinking less, or not at all as Papa did, is associated with better long-term health, particularly when it comes to cancer risk, brain health and overall longevity.

Lastly, Papa wasn’t an all-in, be-a-witness-to-my-fitness kind of exerciser, but he did get his walks in when he was still mobile. While working at Bolles, part of his daily routine was to take a short stroll from his office in the north tower to the flagpole at Commencement Point, where he would look out over the water and ponder life for a few minutes before walking slowly back to Bolles Hall. Every. Single. Day he did this. Over time, that kind of exercise adds up and guess what — it’s good for your health and longevity. Yessiree.

Science backs this up. The National Institute on Aging recommends that older adults aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate physical activity each week—about 30 minutes of brisk walking five days a week—because regular movement helps preserve strength, balance, mobility, heart health and cognitive function. Even smaller amounts make a difference. A 28-year study of older adults found that just 15 minutes of daily physical activity was associated with a lower risk of death compared with being inactive. And a 2023 review of the scientific literature concluded that walking lowers the risk of heart disease, stroke, Type 2 diabetes, cognitive decline and dementia while improving mood, sleep and longevity.

National Institute on Aging: Healthy Eating As You Age

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/healthy-eating

World Health Organization: Alcohol

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol

National Institute on Aging: Exercise

Exercise and physical activity | National Institute on Aging

Curiosity

Papa’s long-term memory amazed everyone.

He recited Shakespeare from memory, recalled family stories from decades earlier and delighted in word games (Jumbles, always), classic movies (on DVD, always) and great books (the Classics, always).

Neuroscientists describe the benefit of lifelong mental engagement as cognitive reserve—the brain’s ability to adapt and compensate as it ages. Reading, conversation, puzzles, learning and intellectual curiosity all appear to strengthen that reserve over time, helping many people remain mentally sharp well into later life. Papa treated learning the way some people treat exercise, which he did not do much of throughout his life. Learning and Jumbles were his brain exercise and his daily routine doing them (during the morning, always) were a boon for aging greatness.

Humor

Joke’s on you. Papa also had a wonderfully gentle sense of humor.

Whether naming family cars– Brigadoon, Eucalyptus Windamere, The Phantom — or finding amusement and poetry in everyday life, he understood that laughter, as they say, is medicine .

Once again, Papa was spot on here. Researchers have found that humor lowers stress, strengthens social bonds and improves emotional well-being. It reminds us that aging doesn’t diminish our capacity for delight. If anything, it gives us more reasons to appreciate it.

Stress relief from laughter? It’s no joke.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456

Gerontology has taught us a remarkable amount about growing older over the past half-century. Researchers continue to discover how optimism, relationships, purpose, faith, sleep, intellectual engagement and community each contribute to healthier aging. None offers a guarantee. Together, though, they create the kind of life that helps people remain resilient, connected and fully alive for as long a time as Mother Nature gives us.

Looking back on Papa’s 98 years, I’m struck by how naturally he embodied so much of what the science now affirms. He never set out to become a model of successful aging, duh, because he wasn’t OLD, remember? He simply loved people, trusted God, stayed curious, slept well, laughed often and remained deeply rooted in the people and places that mattered most.

That’s a legacy worth carrying forward. The science shows it. Thank you, Papa, for being an example of this for all of us! Cheers to 98 years of successful aging and living!