Yes, I’m still blabbering on about the late June story in the Washington Post, “As the cost of aging soars, families’ wealth is evaporating: Growing old is eroding the inheritance Americans hoped to leave behind, a Washington Post analysis found. Many will have nothing to pass on.” I want to be clear about the fact that this is not some sob response that Baby Boomers’ adult children aren’t getting the inheritance they deserve. That’s just a “too bad, so sad… oh well” consequence of the realities we are facing, but it’s definitely not the moral of our aging story. The real takeaway message is that there are choices we can make now — in our 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s — that can influence our financial outcomes, whether that means having enough to cover our long-term care needs, aging in place successfully or yes, even have money left over to pass down to our beneficiaries if that is our priority.

Despite the grim forecast, excellent choices are still ours to claim! As long as we are honest about our objectives, plan for them, share our strategies and establish realistic expectations with the people we love, our aging journeys will include many paths forward.

We do not need to be a victim of this demographic shift and rising care costs. We just need to be prepared — eyes open, head on a swivel and priorities well aligned.

So where do we start? With a quick pep talk: There’s no one way to do this planning. We are not bound to any best practices or paths or one way policies. We’re all different people with different goals that require different approaches. The place we begin is with an understanding of and confidence in what matters most to us.

Here are a few examples of what aging planning might look like to a few imaginary people who live in my head:

• A longtime business owner who wants to prepare her children and grandchildren to carry the family enterprise forward after her death: This person should work with an estate-planning attorney, tax professional and business-succession specialist to create a formal transition plan, establish how ownership and decision-making authority will pass and determine whether life insurance or a buy-sell agreement is needed. A trust may be useful, although the choice between revocable and irrevocable arrangements depends on her goals and circumstances. She might also consider 529 education accounts, mentoring opportunities or lifetime gifts to prepare younger family members. Before transferring assets, she should consult an elder-law attorney because gifts made during Medicaid’s five-year lookback period can delay eligibility for long-term-care coverage. A financial advisor and long-term-care insurance specialist can help her preserve a legacy while preparing for her own care.
• A single older adult without children who wants to remain independent and avoid becoming vulnerable during an illness or emergency: This person needs to build an intentional support system and identify trustworthy people or professionals who can serve as healthcare surrogate, financial power of attorney, executor and emergency contact. A professional fiduciary, trust company, geriatric care manager or care-management organization may be appropriate when friends or relatives cannot assume these responsibilities. She should create an accessible emergency-information file, provide copies of advance directives to the right people and authorize someone to communicate with doctors and financial institutions. Exploring a continuing care retirement community, cohousing community or well-connected condominium could provide both social engagement and escalating care. A medical-alert service, scheduled check-in system and relationship with the local Area Agency on Aging could provide additional safeguards.
• A healthy retired couple who want to spend their early retirement traveling extensively while they still have the energy and mobility to enjoy it: This couple should develop a retirement-income plan that deliberately funds travel during their more active years without jeopardizing resources for later healthcare and long-term care. They may want separate accounts for essential lifetime expenses, future care and discretionary travel. They should examine how Medicare, Medigap or Medicare Advantage coverage works outside their home service area and consider international travel medical insurance and emergency evacuation coverage. Their legal documents should remain valid and accessible while they travel, and trusted contacts should know where to find passports, insurance information and medical records. They should also decide who will monitor their home, finances and mail during extended trips and consider whether downsizing or choosing a lock-and-leave residence would better support their lifestyle.
• An older adult whose greatest priority is living as long and as healthfully as possible and who is willing to devote most of his resources to that goal: This person may want to work with a geriatrician, preventive-care team, registered dietitian, physical therapist and certified personal trainer experienced with older adults. His budget could emphasize excellent medical coverage, dental and hearing care, evidence-based fitness, nutritious food, medication management, mental health, social engagement and a home environment that supports mobility and safety. A financial planner can model increasingly expensive healthcare and care scenarios, including private-duty assistance, memory care and skilled nursing. He should also complete detailed advance directives explaining which life-sustaining treatments he would want under different circumstances, since pursuing longevity can mean very different things when recovery, cognition or independence is limited. His estate plan can state clearly that his own care and quality of life take precedence over leaving an inheritance.
• A homeowner who is determined to remain in the house she loves for the rest of her life: This person should arrange an aging-in-place assessment with an occupational therapist or Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist before a health crisis forces hurried decisions. Her plan may include a first-floor bedroom and accessible bathroom, improved lighting, nonslip flooring, grab bars, wider doorways, an entrance ramp or stair lift. She should budget for maintenance, property taxes, homeowners insurance, housekeeping, lawn care, transportation, meal preparation and increasing amounts of paid assistance. A home-equity line, reverse mortgage or sale of another asset might eventually help fund care, but each choice requires careful financial counseling. She should also identify home-care agencies in advance and calculate the point at which extensive in-home care could become more expensive or isolating than assisted living.
• An LGBTQ+ older adult whose chosen family provides more support than his biological relatives: This person should ensure that his legal documents reflect the people he actually trusts rather than relying on default state laws or assumptions about family relationships. An attorney familiar with LGBTQ+ estate planning can prepare healthcare directives, powers of attorney, a will or trust, hospital-visitation authorizations and clear instructions for funeral arrangements. Beneficiary designations on retirement accounts, insurance policies and payable-on-death accounts should be reviewed carefully because they can override a will. He may want to investigate LGBTQ+-welcoming healthcare providers, home-care agencies, senior communities and long-term-care facilities before he needs them. Written records of his relationships, preferences and decision-makers can help protect his identity, dignity and chosen family if illness or cognitive impairment limits his ability to advocate for himself.
• A retired renter living primarily on Social Security who has little savings and is increasingly worried about food, housing and healthcare costs: This person should begin with a comprehensive benefits screening rather than assuming assistance is unavailable. His local Area Agency on Aging can help him investigate Medicare Savings Programs, Extra Help with prescription costs, Medicaid, SNAP, energy assistance, subsidized housing, transportation, home-delivered meals and property-related assistance available to renters. A SHIP counselor can provide free, unbiased help comparing Medicare coverage. He should avoid high-cost financial products and seek free or reduced-cost legal assistance before signing contracts or responding to debt collectors. Because even a modest emergency can destabilize his budget, a small cash reserve, automatic bill payment and a trusted financial contact could be valuable. Applying for housing assistance early is important because waiting lists can be long.
• A married older adult who provides daily care for a spouse with dementia and is exhausting her own health and savings in the process: This caregiver needs a plan for two people rather than allowing the spouse’s needs to consume every available resource. An elder-law attorney can explain Medicaid eligibility, spousal-impoverishment protections, permissible asset arrangements and the consequences of transferring property. A geriatric care manager can assess the spouse’s needs and help coordinate adult day care, home care, respite services or memory care. The caregiving spouse should also arrange backup decision-makers and written care instructions in case she becomes ill or dies first. Support groups, respite grants and counseling can help protect her health and reduce isolation. A financial advisor can model the costs of continuing care at home versus residential memory care while preserving enough income, housing and savings for the caregiving spouse’s own later years.
• An older couple in a second marriage who each have children, property and family obligations from previous relationships: This couple should work with an estate-planning attorney to reconcile their responsibilities to one another with what each hopes to leave to children or other beneficiaries. They may need a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, carefully designed trusts, updated deeds and coordinated beneficiary designations. Their plan should address who may remain in the home after one spouse dies, who will pay its expenses and when the property eventually passes to the children. They should also decide whether adult children will have any authority over healthcare or finances and document those roles explicitly to reduce conflict. Life insurance can sometimes provide for one group of beneficiaries while other assets pass to another. Joint long-term-care planning is equally important because one spouse’s care costs can affect both families’ expected inheritances.
• An older adult who wants to use her remaining years and resources for experiences, generosity and community impact rather than maximizing an inheritance: This person should first calculate the amount needed to secure housing, healthcare and possible long-term care throughout a long life. Once that foundation is protected, she might create an annual “living legacy” budget for family experiences, charitable giving, education, travel or helping younger people while she can see the results. A donor-advised fund, charitable trust, qualified charitable distribution or direct gift may be appropriate depending on her age, assets and tax circumstances. She should speak with a financial planner and tax advisor before making large gifts, especially if Medicaid eligibility could become relevant later. Her estate documents, beneficiary designations and charitable intentions should reinforce the same plan so that the resources remaining at her death are distributed according to her values.

No matter our circumstances or priorities, none of us are destined to be one of the numbers the Washington Post describes in its eye-opening June piece. There are options! And most importantly, there are professionals who can help us take our dreams and turn them into a workable Grand Plan. Let this be a reminder to start yours today!