We know many of the habits associated with aging well: move your body, eat nutritious food, get enough sleep, don’t drink too much chardonnay lol, challenge your brain and stay current on preventive care. Some of this aging gracefully is not easy! Sometimes I can’t even remember what day I last changed my estrogen patch or have any motivation to take a walk. Sometimes I’d rather just sit on the couch and rot all day and fill my brain with true crime or reality television. Here’s the good news/bad news: one of the most consequential parts of a healthy aging plan may be something as simple as maintaining strong relationships and continuing to participate in community life. Yes, aging introverts out there — this is our reminder that if we want to have high functioning brains and healthy cognition as we age, we need to get out there and start building our people-person muscle.

There’s proof out there, ya’ll. A recent New York Times article explored 25 years of research on “SuperAgers,” adults over 80 whose memory performs at the level of people decades younger. The researchers found no universal diet, exercise routine or prescription among these exceptional agers, but they did identify a striking common characteristic: SuperAgers tend to be highly social and place considerable value on their relationships. Northwestern University researchers also have found distinctive features in the parts of their brains associated with memory, emotional regulation and social behavior. (Northwestern Now)

That does not prove that a busy social calendar will preserve anyone’s memory, and aging never comes with guarantees. And it doesn’t mean extroverts have won the aging game. It does, however, add to an increasingly persuasive body of evidence that connection belongs alongside nutrition, exercise and medical care in our conversations about longevity.

The World Health Organization reported in 2025 that one in six people worldwide experiences loneliness and that loneliness is associated with more than 871,000 deaths each year. The National Institutes of Health has linked social isolation and loneliness with increased risks of heart disease, high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, dementia and premature death. A large 2025 study of more than 25,000 older adults also found that social isolation was associated with a lower likelihood of reaching age 80 free of major chronic disease. (who.int)

The distinction between loneliness and social isolation is super important — and one more reason it’s smart to get out there and connect. A person can live alone without feeling lonely, just as someone can feel profoundly lonely in a crowded room. Yet both conditions are a reminder that social health depends on more than proximity to other people. We need places where we are expected, opportunities to contribute and relationships in which we feel known.

Creating those relationships often becomes more difficult with age, most of us know this experientially. In fact, it’s been harder to make friends and build community since our 20s when school, college and maintaining back home baller status helped keep us near people we loved. In our 30s and 40s, our workplaces and parent groups provided decent community but all that starts to taper off the older we get. Retirement can remove the daily contact of the workplace. Friends move or die. Hearing, vision, mobility and transportation challenges can narrow a person’s world. Adult children may live far away, and even older adults surrounded by loving family can miss the friendships and conversations that belong entirely to them.

We cannot tell people to “be more social” and consider the problem solved. Communities have to create welcoming, accessible ways for relationships to develop. And we must be willing to participate — to take the hard step of putting ourselves out there.

One promising example is New York City–based Life Story Club, an organization with which I have been working as it explores pilot programs in other communities. Life Story Club brings small groups of older adults together, in person or by phone or Zoom, to respond to thoughtful prompts and share stories from their lives. Its clubs have served more than 2,500 older adults across New York City’s five boroughs in several languages. (lifestoryclub.org)

The model works because storytelling gives people something deeper to exchange than small talk. A prompt about a childhood neighborhood, a memorable meal, a difficult decision or a person who changed your life invites participants to listen, reflect and recognize parts of themselves in one another. Over time, a group of strangers can become a community, while every participant receives something human beings need at every age: the assurance that their experiences have value and their presence is noticed. Everyone wants to feel noticed!

Northeast Florida would be an ideal place to build programs based on this model, perhaps through libraries, churches, senior centers, health systems, neighborhood associations and residential communities. The same is true wherever you live. A club requires a trained facilitator, a consistent gathering place or virtual connection and an invitation broad enough to reach the people who may need it most. The potential return is substantial: greater belonging, renewed purpose, new friendships and a stronger community around older adults. And as the New York Times piece suggests, improved cognition as we age.

Social connection should be treated as part of our aging infrastructure and our individual longevity plans. We prepare financially, legally and medically for longer lives. We should prepare socially, too—by nurturing the relationships we already have and creating places where new ones can begin.

A community that helps people remain connected is doing more than making life pleasant or getting people off the couch. It is helping make a longer life healthier, more purposeful and more fully lived. That’s a smart Grand Plan imho!